#flattenthecurve Episode 48

The End of an Era: Thoughts on Change and Love

When routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And resentment rides high
But emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways
Taking different roads
Love, love will tear us apart again
Love, love will tear us apart again
(Love Will Tear Us Apart, Joy Division)

Change. While some embrace it, the word, it's implications, the memories and feelings it stirs and the threat to routine that it promises strikes fear into the hearts of many others.

Love. Can it be defined in a way that is universally accepted? Where would we be without it, but equally can the pain it can cause us be equalled in life?

Both words have been the subject of debate, the cause of conflict, and the inspiration for art and music throughout history.

Julie Andrews is widely quoted as saying "All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time"

Echo and the Bunnymen told us "Nothing ever lasts forever; Nothing ever lasts for-e-ver-er"

Further still, a well known proverb says that, 'All good things must come to an end'.

All sombre, thought provoking, and ultimately correct. And after what feels like a lifetime, change is upon me also. I have come to the end of one journey, am questioning whether the love remains and have decided a separation is required.

It was a unilateral decision, a choice I felt I had to make. It's come as a shock to the wife, and the kids were initially surprised too. They've taken it well though, Henry was a little disappointed to begin with but then he's older and has shared some of the happier memories.

While it has been my decision, and I've been unhappy for a while, it hasn't been easy and it will feel strange when, as always happens, the world moves on and somebody new takes my place. I'll just have to live with that though.

Hopefully the split will be as painless as possible. I've had a chance to get used to the separation before announcing it as, since lockdown in March, we have remained close yet become ever more distant.

Thankfully the financial implications are already resolved, which is so often the trickiest area to come to an agreement on in situations like this.

So yeah, I'm free, looking to move on, and I'm open to offers and suggestions: what else can I do at 3pm on a Saturday, probably with one or more kids and the wife in tow, now that I'm not going to renew my season ticket?


Moving On

Another famous proverb says that when one door closes, another opens. On this occasion there are 5 new doors, one of them slides, and they all open into (and out of) our brand spanking new (well, 15 year old) campervan.

Yeah, really - a campervan! Fret not, we had a week in a yurt last year so of course we are now expert campers. I wrote a similar blog to this one on the yurt trip last summer, I might share it some time. Lucky you!

Anyway, camping and campervans: we've done loads of research (the wife has joined several online VW campervan and camping forums, asked questions and spoken to lots of people for recommendations, advice and guidance, while I've watched Carry on Camping a couple of times) and I am mechanically minded (I know how to refuel a van, inflate the tyres and fill the windscreen washer bottle, what more could I need to know?) so I really can't foresee any problems.

The original intention had been to do a big tour of Europe with the kids this summer. Damn you Covid-19! Scotland still counts as Europe, yeah?


Green Fingers

More exciting news from Chez Victory, our earlier gardening endeavours are starting to bear fruit with about a million little seedlings emerging from the small plot of land to the side of our house that has been transformed from building site tip to finely raked topsoil to neighbourhood cat toilet to cradle of new life in just a few short weeks.

My initial excitement at the emergence of the first seedling quickly turned to surprise when seemingly overnight the whole area turned green with little plants pushing their way through to daylight and into an immediate scrap for the natural resources needed for life. The number was overwhelming, and it turns out we've used about ten times more seeds than we need. Oops.

I'm not sure who to blame this one on, it's either my gardening expert sister in law who has overseen the landscaping, planting and upkeep of countless gardens without a problem, and who advised the wife on what we should do, or my city living, nature hating wife who employed the 'nah, it'll be fine - I can always buy some more' approach to me asking if I should really be chucking seeds about with such abandon. I'll let you all form your own view here.

I'm a little concerned that the humongous mass of biodiversity now streaming forth from our little patch of mud will cross breed, cross pollinate, cross fertilize and eventually form a new terrifying superbreed of weed that will terrorise the street, nay the neighbourhood, nay the world?

Maybe, maybe not. I'll keep an eye on things and do some seedling thinning out if needs be.


Body Part Designs

I left you last time with a promise to investigate strange body part designs, and I know some of you will be keen to hear of developments in this new area of activity.

Well, research is going well, but the internet has a eye boggling, mind blowing wealth of material to get through, so I am not ready to report back just yet. It's keeping me busy though.