WFH Day 5 of x
Lockdown Breach
Well, lockdown did not get off to a good start in the Victory household: Eva had a visit from the tooth fairy during the night.
I'm surprised that she (I'm assuming the fairy is a she, though I have no evidence for this) has been designated as a key worker which has allowed her to continue home visits. I wonder if she falls under the 'Benefits Delivery' categorisation? Breaking News: The Tooth Fairy works for DWP! Maybe.
Whether she is, or is not, a civil servant, I hope she is taking the correct health precautions. Handwashing goes without saying of course, we've all had that drummed into us for ages now (if your hands aren't sore and chapped, you ain't doing it right people) but I do worry how effective her Personal Protective Equipment will be with a pair of wings poking out the back of her little white haz-mat suit.
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Eva's tooth coming out was a bit of a palaver. She was proudly showing me how loose it was (it was very loose) so I asked her if she wanted me to pull it out. I always say this when she has a wobbly tooth, and she always runs away screaming 'nooooo'!
Surprisingly, this time she said yes. So I pulled it, and it came out, and we looked at each other surprised that it had come out, then her mouth bled and she cried a bit. Oops.
She now has only one front tooth and looks a bit like a pirate, just with fewer wooden legs and eye patches.
Morning
As I was getting my breakfast this morning there were two children sitting drawing quietly at our dining table.
They looked like my kids, but the whole 'sitting quietly' thing really threw me so I wasn't 100% sure.
I checked who they are by calling out their names. They both responded politely, so my money is on them being fakes, but I'm not one to rock the boat over something as minor as fake children so I let it lie and enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Geography
We had a geography lesson today. Not that crappy geography you do at secondary school about rocks and the environment and people, but proper geography about maps and places.
Conscious self: I don't know any geography teachers, do I?
Subconscious self: just your sister
Conscious self: nah, you're alright on this one Andrew
Subconscious self: YOUR SISTER, YOUR SISTER!
Conscious self: oi, quieten down back there
The wife: who you talking to?
Me: just my subconscious
Hannah: your .... Ok pet (**backs away slowly) kids, come with me, Daddy needs some time alone ...
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the geography lesson. We live very close to an old quarry that's now a nature reserve. The term 'nature reserve' probably paints a picture of an idyllic scene filled with a captivating array of flora and fauna. It's not like this at all. Much of it is a rubbish strewn scrubland, but there are some nice bits too. Yesterday, amongst the usual broken glass bottles and beer cans, we found some underlay, a burnt out fridge and a pair of boxer shorts hanging from a tree. For clarity, these weren't the nice bits. And they weren't my size.
There's also a myriad of intertwining paths and tracks across the whole area, the kids get well confused where they are and constantly think we are lost. I suggested they carried breadcrumbs or white stones just in case we got seperated, but the joke passed them by.
We've also been coming up with names for the parts of the 'nature reserve' we have been to so we can describe where we've been/where we are going, and decided to draw a map to help them understand the area better.
I drew the outline of the map and then left the kids to fill in the detail, along with the place names we made up:
- Sibling Hill - a the hill they like to run up, that leads to
- Boogie Ridge - a narrow footpath that Eva likes to flounce along, then there's
- Puddle Path - a boggier area, leading to
- Rocky Road- a track that is quite rocky, that runs alongside
- Horseshoe Field - this is not a horseshoe shaped field, but a field with horses and therefore also horses shoes. It was Eva's idea, we pick our battles carefully with that one. And finally
- Trainer Gate - so called because it is a gate with an abandoned trainer next to it. This leads to another field and more paths which we haven't named yet.
The map is ... interesting. The scale is undefined and inaccurate, there's lots of bits missing, and the colouring-in leaves a lot to be desired, but we like it and it now takes pride of place on the wall of the kids room.
Work
It's probably important to point out that I have been doing work whilst at home, but a series of "I did some emails" and "I had some telekits" and "I made some numbers up" would get boring quite quickly.
I also don't make numbers up.
Much.
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