#flattenthecurve Episode 8

WFH Day 6 of x


Cats

The Victory residence is home to two cats, the older one is Jessie and the younger one is Belle. Jessie is the long haired, cantankerous, hissy mother of Belle. Belle likes to stalk Jessie and playfully pounce towards her. Jessie does not like this, but Belle never learns.

Jessie likes to go out, strut and stalk around, bother the local vermin, chase shadows and miaow angrily at nothing; just the usual cat stuff really. She doesn't stay out for long (except a couple of weeks ago when she refused to come in after her early morning prowl and so spent all day cursing us while we were at work, and all evening telling us how displeased she was) so it was a bit of a surprise when she didn't come home for her tea yesterday. And still wasn't back a couple of hours later.

We eventually found her in the downstairs bathroom, she'd somehow managed to jump in through the open window and she looked very sorry for herself hobbling around quite badly. The 24hr vet got us to do some checks over the phone, and decided she didn't need a trip to cat A&E but we'll need to take her to our vet this afternoon.

She's eating, drinking and hissing at Belle still, so I reckon she's going to be ok but the kids are worried. Last time I took a cat to the vet she didn't come home. :-(


Underwear

Henry is walking round with a pair of boxer shorts on his head. They seem to be his, they definitely aren't the ones we found hanging from a tree the other day anyway, and they appear clean, so on balance it's probably best not to ask him why.

"Dad" he whispers, conspiratorially as he sidles up to me in the kitchen "I need to ask you something"
"Ok" I whisper back, imagining this is going to have something to do with his boxer shorts on his head.
"Can we go to the park?"

So I was still none the wiser on the boxers, and by the time we leave for the park they have gone from his head so we may never know.

Halfway down the street I begin to wonder if he's wearing any boxer shorts at all. Again, I opt for the blissful ignorance route and decide not to ask.


The Park

We didn't see many people out at the park, and those we did see gave us a very wide berth. I'm going to be generous and say this is because people are getting the hang of this social distancing malarkey, rather than because they wanted to stay as far away as possible from my foghorn daughter telling the whole of Sunderland she'd bumped her ankle on her scooter. Again. Or maybe they saw Henry checking out his boxer shorts situation? Who's to know. Whatever the reason, we managed to achieve social distancing with minimal effort.


Trackie Bottoms

How long is it ok to wear a pair of trackie bottoms for, if there are no visible dirty marks, stains or food encrustments? Just, er, asking for a friend.


Cats Again

Jessie's been to the vet. Not by herself, I took her. I'm kind like that. She's been bitten by "another person" according to the vet. The vet noticed my alarm at this, and clarified that by 'person' she meant 'cat', as opposed to "a dog, or anything else". Of course. Vets are weird.

She'll be fine (Jessie that is, not the vet - I don't think there's any hope for her). I thought she would be, I noticed she was weight bearing on her injured leg when she thought nobody was watching. Cats are sneaky.


Double Standards

I'm sensing some double standards emerging with regards to work in the Victory household.

Hannah minces around eating ice creams and making cups of tea while she's supposed to be working, and yesterday watched MasterChef with the kids while they should have been doing maths.

I know every day is a learning day, and the domestic sciences are an important life skill, but I'm struggling with the educational value of anything while your teacher is snoozing.

She's also somehow snuck 'bike riding' onto the kids list of project ideas, so this morning she sat in the sun with her feet up 'supervising' the kids riding up and down the back garden while I was upstairs dialling into a telekit 45 minutes too early cos I got the days mixed up.

Sorry, got to go, she needs another cup of tea.


Playdough Disco
The wife and kids are having a playdough disco. This is basically playing with playdough watching some weird woman play with playdough on YouTube while listening to music. I'm not sure who is having more fun.

Actually, that's a lie. The wife is an early years teacher and is clearly loving it far more than a 41-year old woman should love playing with playdough.

She tells me that's why I love her. I mumble something I think sounds vaguely convincing and head back up to my man cave.