#flattenthecurve Episode 17 The Third Weekend

When Seagulls Follow the Trawler

The seagulls were out complaining again early this morning. Something about a hungry brown bear in our back garden trying to catch them to feed to his fish. I couldn't quite hear them properly though as they were all talking at once, so I might be wrong on that one.

They didn't stay to chat for long, just long enough to wake me up.


Shopping

The wife decided enough was enough on Saturday, and that it was time she took to the outside world again and do her first 'big shop' of lockdown.

I tried to dissuade her, she's a delicate soul, but she put on a brave face and after a pep talk of do's and don'ts, hints and tips, what's and whyfor's, what to do in an emergency, and a reminder not to talk to strangers, she set foot into the wild. Well, into Tesco, but it can get quite tasty in there.

I paced the house anxious for an update (well, lay in bed - she was out very early) and it duly arrived: a photo of those handheld self-serve scanners they have. I hoped it was a checkout shot rather than a work in progress as the amount she'd spent made my knees go wobbly, but I continued to pace (lie in) and the dizziness soon subsided.

After what seemed like an eternity, she returned. Slightly shaken by the new one-way system that had gone awry when the arrows to follow on the floor weren't set up correctly and caused gridlock at the end of the tinned produce aisle, and a little snappy, but otherwise in one piece.

I'm pleased to say she did well, with only two panicky buys: we are now the proud owners of around 804 Babybels and some Danone Beetroot and Carrot yoghurts.

I didn't mention she'd bought the wrong beer, the lessons learned can wait until the nerves have settled. I'm kind like that.


Camp Victory

"Daddy, Daddy, we're going to camp!"

"Ooh behave, darlings" I replied affecting a feminine voice, hanging my hand limply from my wrist and mincing around the front room.

"What?" replied the kids.

"D***head" mouthed the wife.

"No, we're going to do a Beaver and Scout camp in the front room!"

And so was born Camp Victory.

Trip Advisory
Andrew Victory wrote a review 5 Apr
📍Sunderland, England - 1 Contribution
🔴🔴🔴🔴⭕

Clean, Comfortable Accomodation, Excellent On-site Café

Well, a superb opening night for Camp Victory: I'm sure we'll be back soon.

The family friendly evening entertainment was perfect. The in-house outwards bounds expert (Andrew) led the 'camp essentials' training session including tent pitching and fire lighting (to tick the Beaver Camping badge boxes) then the spaghetti and marshmallow model building went down a storm too.

The café pulled out a tasty, nutritious snacky supper, and the free movie and audio books kept the kids entertained until lights out.

While some campers woke very early the next day, the pitches are well spaced so noise disruption was at a minimum, though the smell of sausages cooking dragged even the most sleepy-headed from their beds.

The only slight complaint, the camp owner insists on a very high standard of tidyness before deposits are returned. With the price of one night at Camp Victory being at the more expensive end of the in-home camping scale I'd have hoped that she'd have picked up some of the cleaning jobs herself instead of sitting on her backside watching In For a Penny with the kids. But that's nitpicking really.


Songstress

Eva is a very, er, 'enthusiastic' singer. This afternoon she gave us a great (well, very loud) rendition of PJ and Duncan's less well known B side "Let's get ready to amble".

We aren't clear if this was Ant and Dec, as they later became (reverted to?) getting ready for a stroll or whether they were visiting the Northumberland town of the same name. Possibly a fact that has been lost to the ravages of time.


Skin Head

The wife hasn't been the only one in desperate need of a hair cut, the boy did too. On the promise of 1,000 v-bucks for Fortnite, and after finally being convinced that it wouldn't make him "all baldy like me dad" he agreed to his first buzz cut.

There was a moment of alarm halfway through when he twisted his head and I nicked his ear, but the outcome was quite successful. Ears bleed a lot, don't they?

I think he suits it (the hair, not the nicked ear) but he thinks he looks like The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. He does like how quick it is to dry his hair though. Hair drying is usually sensory overload for him, so this is a bigger positive than you could ever imagine.