#flattenthecurve Episode 33

Walk on the Mild Side

There's nothing like a peaceful walk in the April sunshine to start off your week, and when Monday arrived full of beautiful clear skies and birdsong I stepped out with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

Sadly, I was chastised everywhere by a pair of noisy, bickering kids. I tried my best to lose them, taking unannounced turns down quiet streets, making random diversions through wooded sections of parkland, but they tracked me all the way home and then had the audacity to sit in my kitchen demanding snacks and drinks.

The wife seems quite taken by them and has decided we should keep them. She'll regret it, I'm sure.


Lost Weekend

"But Andrew" I hear you cry, "Andrew! What about the weekend? What exciting adventures did you and your family get up to?"

And my reply? Nothing. Nowt. Zilch. Well, nought out of the ordinary.

Sometimes it's nice be be outdoorsy and active and up to stuff. Sometimes you need nothing more than a good sit on your backside all weekend, and this weekend was a sit on your backside weekend.

I did manage to watch a little niche arthouse film starring a Northern Irishman, a Scotsman, an Israeli woman, and a small boy who they allowed to race dangerous looking flying contraptions in order to get a spare part for their space ship. They took him away from his Mam because the farce was strong with him. Or something like that. Maybe they were producers for a new Carry On film, I don't know. The story went off on a tangent after that so maybe we will never find out.

The wife said this was the 1st film in a series of 9 but also the 4th, which clearly makes no sense, and apparently they have a little bit of a cult following. If this one is anything to go by I can't imagine the rest will be very good so I'd avoid if I was you.


Scary Stuff

After the weekend's ritual shaving of the beard I am still not accustomed to my lack of facial hair, which has caused a couple of problems.

1. I scared the hell out of myself when I walked past a mirror and didn't recognise myself. In my defence it was quite dark, and I was getting up to see what the noise coming from downstairs was. Turned out it was the kids, they'd resurrected Camp Victory and thought stupid o'clock in the morning was an ok time to start farting around banging doors.

2. My face was cold when I went out walking early on Monday morning.

I feel I was a little rash in removing so much hair in one go, let the beard regrowing commence!


6-0*

While I was sitting round doing nothing this weekend, the wife found time to make bagels. Homemade bagels. They were amazing! You have to boil them in sugar water before baking them, who knew?!

She even got inventive and made a couple that were crescent shaped instead of doughnut shaped, which provided a bit of variety. Oh no, wait ... news just coming in ... ah, they were mistakes. Oops. Very tasty mistakes though. They were so popular in fact that she was pressurised into making a second batch on Sunday.

In other bagel related news, according to a Monday morning weigh-in I ate too many bagels this weekend. Nothing to do with lockdown chocolate and beer consumption of course (medicinal only, you understand).

* a completely random tennis reference there, if you were wondering.