#flattenthecurve Episode 41

My bike still isn't fixed. In fact, it still isn't even in a shop where it can be fixed. In fact, it's not even booked to go to a shop where it can be fixed. It's quite ironic that this has happened when exercise restrictions have been lifted and so my unrestricted exercise is now less than my previously restricted exercise, which was in turn greater than my pre Covid-19 exercise levels.

I have been keeping my activity levels up in a variety of innovative ways though, including:


Walking

Or specifically, going for a walk while the kids are on their bikes. There are a whole host of fun activities to pass the time whilst out walking/biking. 'Fun'. My favourites include:

a. dodging wayward kids on bikes as they attempt to crash into the back of me

b. standing in the middle of nowhere wondering where the hell they've disappeared off to,

c. pushing Eva's bike up hills for her, and

d. rescuing Eva from dogs. Dogs love barking at Eva, and Eva seems quite taken with screaming at dogs, so the combination is a cacophonous match made in hell.

On Monday we added a new walking/biking activity to the list: snail counting. Eva has a thing for snails, being the proud owner of a Giant African Land Snail. Between them they counted about one bazillion snails in one morning walk/bike. I didn't have the heart to tell them that as Henry was riding ahead of Eva there was a good chance that the snails Eva spotted were the same ones Henry spotted just moments before, so their actual snail count was only about half a bazillion.

Also, I should watch where I'm walking, the count of live snails ended up being a couple less then half a bazillion. Again, I didn't have the heart to tell the kids.


Digging

Eva has been helping me dig out the garden in an attempt to clear the compacted earth and rubble that was left behind after the extension was built.

I say 'help' in the loosest possible sense of the word. Google has two definitions of help:

help (/hɛlp/) verb

1. make it easier or possible for someone to do something by offering them one's services or resources.

2. endlessly distract your dad from doing what he needs to do, making him take twice as long as necessary and causing extra grumpiness, then expect excessive praise and an extra snack

I'll let you decide which one I made up to describe the kind of help Eva was providing.

We're up to 90 bags of rubble so far, at the last count Eva contributed four medium size rocks and a small twig. And even then she flounced round the garden waving the twig about asking what she should do with it. She did not like my first suggestion.

If Eva was a fan of The Mock Turtles she'd probably have been singing "Can you di-i-i-ig it?" To which I'd have replied "Oh no, cos you've got your face in the mud looking for worms just where I'm wanting to land my shovel. Again." Catchy? I think so.


Tidying Up

I took a break from the kids to go up into the loft to do a spot of tidying up. I spotted our suitcases lying in the corner, so I took the opportunity to let them know that we won't be going on holiday this year, and they burst into floods of tears. Just what I needed, more emotional baggage.

This isn't true, of course. I would never voluntarily do any tidying up, I was there hiding from the kids.